I suck at texting unless
- I am in a relationship with you
- You are my mom
- I need something
- Me and you are close as fuck
*You and me are close as fuck*
giving birth is essentially just like pooping except out a different hole
are your poops covered in blood and start screaming and crying
only after i eat mexican food
olé
omg
When I block somebody on Tumblr it should be like they were deleted off the face of the earth. I should never hear or see them again. Ever.
You are giving a boy a handjob when your mother walks in on you. You freeze with your hands wrapped around his dick. Your mom stands in doorway with a shocked expression. “Mom,” you finally manage to say, “It’s not what it looks like. I was just holding it for a friend.” Your mother’s mouth turns upward into a slight smile “Oh in that case I’ll just leave you two alone,” she says before turning around and closing the door behind her.
exit the womb they said
life will be great they said